10:34pm
I’m sitting here under the protective netting of my mosquito tip tapping from my single bed listening to the Police sing “I can’t I can’t I can’t stand losing…” over and over again.
Last year, during my 16 day intensive I learned the critical error we function under when living by this widespread belief on a very scientific level. Now, this year, in Kovalam, I’m learning it still… on the level of spiritual science. There is a sense of satisfaction (yes, with ego… after all, I’m seeking enlightenment, but I acknowledge I’m not “there” yet!) and another sense, that of gratitude to know from one year to the next, that I am on my path. Regardless of my mistakes and failures, and taking in my mistakes and failures, it is with the Grace of all the positive & negative, all the joy & sorrow, all the playfulness & suffering, that has lead me here. So how can any of it be … negative when looking at my life on a holistic level?
It’s not. I’ve been mostly really happy. I haven’t made as many posts as I’d initially intended only because my curriculum is mind boggling when it comes to the intensity factor.
So let me share with you the routine of my day, so you have a better understanding of what my life in Kovalam looks like while I attend the School of Santhi.
I live in Room 302 at the Peacock Hotel. I have an English roommate named Melanie but she calls herself “Mel”. I always picture a boring tall lanky man wearing beige that is a dysfunctional ally to Woody Allen in his New York City based movies when I hear the name “Mel”. It evokes a 1970’s boring-ness in me. But Mel is not boring. I don’t know her well but I’m glad I’m rooming with her. There is a cultural understanding and a shared love of tea, which seems to perplex the other students.
Okay so here is my schedule:
I quietly go about changing into my Yoga Asana uniform of white t-shirt with “School of Santhi” written in light blue and my white cotton Sinbad drawstring yoga pants. All of us wear the same uniform. Yoga. Uniform. Union. I brush my teeth and wash my face and tie my hair back. Mel and I don’t speak much in the mornings. I’m happy she’s not much of a chatter. Besides, it’s dark out when we rise.
We have water only and no food.
6am. We’re upstairs and doing our Sun Salutation Asana. Yoga Asana are 3 hours long. I am sweating by the 2nd or 3rd Sun Salutation. A series of postures and mantras in between paying respect to the Sun. The source of all life. The routine of Sun Salutation is that of Respect and Surrender, so it’s looking upward then downward in a series of different postures. We learn with each Asana (posture) what we are doing and why, along with the Sanskrit name. This makes the Asana (posture) so much more meaningful. To do something without knowing why is like living life with your eyes open and your heart closed. In one week, my eyes have been further opened and my heart each day is raised towards the heavens and planted firmly in the reality of my Earthly life with Yoga Asanas designed to reculture (move back into correct posture & alignment) my body.
At 9am after a grueling work out which now includes every student taking a turn at teaching alongside Santhi and our Teachers Assistant, a woman called Susan from California who has already successfully completed Level I, we break for breakfast.
All our meals are provided for us. I always go for a shower first and then go down for my meal. I’m alone in doing this. At first there was curiosity if I was “okay”. It’s kind of like high school; if you don’t follow the crowd something must be wrong… But slowly people are starting to realize there is nothing “wrong” that I simply like to eat with a clean body, not one that is stewing in sweat from a 3 hour work out. I attribute my "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" like ways to Mrs. K.
With Swami Santhi this includes studying Kundalini Yoga, the Sanghya Philosophy of Master Patanjali, The entire Chakra system and all the Deities invoked in each Chakra along with their elements and characteristics. On Tuesdays & Wednesdays we take Anatomy & Physiology on a university level with Sudha Rajkumar, who is such a wonderful woman. By her own admission she says she is a little crazy. She teaches at a college in Kovalam and is a Scientist. After an extremely traumatic personal experience of losing her husband in a plane crash, he was a pilot of a Cessna flying for an air show, she became a Spiritual Seeker. She told me over lunch one day how her husbands death confused her and sent her into despair. The most beautiful description of their relationship passed ever so eloquently from Sudha’s lips… she said in her thick Indian accent fully loaded with rolling “R’s” … “we were not just husband and wife, actually, we were the most intimate of friends…”
I found this beautiful. She went on further to tell me how she discovered Life through Death. That it is Death that makes life so Beautiful. That if there were no Death, we would become bored…
Sudha later gifted me with her book about her experience, “In The Light of Fireflies”. I’m looking forward to reading it on my next day off, which is every Monday.
When the subject matter gets really heavy (like studying 4 of the bodies systems in one day – digestive, respiratory, circulatory and endocrine systems in great detail – she stops and gives us a break to DANCE! Yep! She puts on Indian music and says just close your eyes and become one with the music… some of the students are shy, but it turns out I’m not one of them. Nikka (from Slovenia) Mel and I are now dubbed “The Supremes”.
I have a good time twirling it really does wake me up. I even took Susan and showed her how to Waltz. She was the male partner… lol! A girl through and through!
Two evenings a week, after 6:30pm when Swami Santhi & Sudha are done, we have a man named Sunil Kumar (yes, another Kumar!!!) come and teach us Mantra Chanting. I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying this! To my surprise! I think for so many years I’ve been surrounded by musicians who were the “official” artists that I’ve always just accepted that I can’t sing or never really been bold enough to put forth my voice. But something beautiful happened today. In a very simple mantra “Om Namah Sivayah” (pronounced Ohm Namah Shee-vai-yah) I heard my voice in a way I have never heard it before. It went from shaky and quivering to smooth upon multiple repetitions. This Mantra simply means, “Oh Lord Shiva, I Call Upon You” Shiva is the God of Destruction. Most people take this in a negative aspect but it is meant in a positive manner. He destroys all that impedes us and clears our path to Enlightenment. Sitting in the Lotus posture with my eyes closed saying this over and over again stimulates a vibration within that is so peaceful and uplifting. It was a beautiful experience.
We do group study of the Asanas (the yoga postures) in great detail, learning contra-indications, benefits, possible diseases that the posture will aid in healing, the internal and external organs effected by the asana etc… from 7:30pm all other nights and break at 8:30pm for dinner. After dinner it’s usually about 9:30pm and Belington calls most of us.
I shower at night so that I get my half hour extra sleep in the morning and wash off all the toxic bug spray and dewiness of the day and crawl into bed fresh and clean.
Which brings me to now… 11:28pm. I had allocated an hour to share with you and now my hour is up. If I stay up and share more I will suffer for it in the morning…
So with Love, I bid you a good night as I listen to the creatures of the night that I can hear but cannot see…
Until I close my eyes… then I see everything… including all of you.
All my Love…
11:29pm
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